Unpacking Your Money Story: How Childhood Shapes the Way You Handle Finances Today
Money isn’t just about numbers. It’s about emotions, safety, self-worth, freedom, and even love.
If you’ve ever felt shame when checking your bank account, guilt when spending on yourself, or fear about running out of money, no matter how much you have, there’s a story behind those feelings.
That story often begins long before your first paycheck.
In therapy, I call it your money story, the emotional blueprint you unconsciously carry from childhood that shapes how you earn, spend, save, and share today.
1. What You Learned Growing Up Still Lives in You
The messages you absorbed about money growing up, whether spoken or unspoken, became part of your emotional foundation.
Maybe you heard things like:
“We can’t afford that.”
“Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
“You have to work twice as hard to get ahead.”
Even if your parents never talked about money, you learned through what you saw — stress after bills arrived, arguments about spending, or silence around financial topics. Those early experiences can shape your beliefs about security, success, and self-worth.
2. Your Money Habits Reflect Emotional Patterns
Overspending, under-saving, avoiding bills, or obsessively tracking expenses aren’t just financial behaviors; they’re emotional coping mechanisms.
For example, overspending might soothe feelings of scarcity or unworthiness, while extreme saving might reflect fear of loss or lack of control. Therapy helps you identify the emotional roots of these habits and replace them with choices that align with your values, not your fears.
3. Guilt and Shame Keep You Stuck
Many people carry guilt or shame around money for not having enough, for having more than others, or for making “bad” financial decisions.
But shame doesn’t create change; it keeps you frozen. Therapy provides a safe, nonjudgmental space to unpack that shame, separate your self-worth from your net worth, and start making money decisions from self-awareness instead of self-criticism.
4. Your Relationship with Money Mirrors Your Relationship with Yourself
The way you treat money often reflects the way you treat yourself. Do you avoid it? Micromanage it? Ignore it until it’s a crisis?
When you learn to approach money with curiosity rather than fear, you begin healing the deeper emotional patterns tied to self-trust, boundaries, and a sense of deservingness.
5. Awareness Creates Change
Financial therapy isn’t about budgeting; it’s about understanding. Once you recognize your patterns, you can begin to write a new story, one grounded in self-awareness, emotional balance, and aligned decision-making.
Therapy gives you the space to explore what money means to you, and how it can support the life you want, not control it.
The Bottom Line
Your money story isn’t set in stone. It’s a living narrative that can be rewritten with awareness, compassion, and practice.
If you’re in Overland Park or anywhere in Kansas, and you’re ready to understand the emotional patterns behind your financial stress, I’d be honored to help you unpack your story and build a healthier relationship with money.